Still trying to find Joe. It’d be amazing if I did.
You will never meet someone who will love you as much as I do. I can’t say “as much as I did” because I still do and always will. I knew you were the boy I’d fall in love with the first day I met you and it’s been four years since. Throughout those four years, I’ve fought hell to make sure you were happy. I’ve given up my own happiness for yours. If someone could see how much one person loved another, they’d be astonished by me. How many thoughts you’ve taken, how many tears, the wasted hours of staying up and waiting for your calls, the money I spent, the words i’ve lost in the letters I’ve written, etc. Anyone whose ever met us is amazed by our story. You can see it in our eyes. I can feel it whenever we touch. That’s why I avoid touching you because it literally sends a feeling through my body that I can’t even describe. It can be the slightest touch, like when you grab my bun and my hand slides against yours. I don’t know why you. You’re no one special. But, you’re my drug and this is me going to rehab. I’m going sober. I was happy the last couple of weeks and then you showed back up. I need to stop caring if you die or hurt yourself. It’s your way of keeping me around. You have other people. I’ve seen the last two days that you are the cause of my sadness. I will never see you again. I will be absolutely amazing in life. I am gorgeous, inside and out. I am confident in beauty, and others radiate towards me, not for any reason but because I have been blessed with every aspect a girl wants. Beauty, personality, body, family, etc. I can’t let you keep feeding off my happiness. One day you will look back and regret it. Anthony even told me tonight. Everyone thinks you’ve fucked up. But when you look back, I won’t be here anymore. I’m moving in two months. And starting now, erasing you from my life. I deserve better than just the moon and back. Goodbye, skinny love.
My heart is honestly destroyed from you.
When I look into the crowd,
I want to see your face
Among the sea of strangers
I’ll be searching for your familiar eyes
But, the blues been gone for so long
And I am no longer certain of their presence
Nor if I’ll see them that day
Yet, my hopes have been set high
I want to see your smile as I receive my diploma
To feel proud that i’ve kept strong for both of us
You should be there
You’ve disappointed me so many times before
Why would this be any different?
